Hey! Welcome back, or just welcome. You spoke and Ugly Dad listened and as a reward for all that hard work you did in answering my question, “What’s the worst type of social media posts?” here’s a terrible post about the worst social media posts.
But you might be saying, Ugly Dad, there are so many of these already, what could you possibly add?
Glad you asked! I am less interested in the types of posts reported as the worst, and more interested in digging into the psychology of the individuals who consider a particular type of post the worst.
People have a sharp eye (and often sharper tongue) when it comes to what they hate, but they often lack the ability to turn that eye inward. They lack the insight needed to get to the root of that hate. Well, Dr. Ugly Dad has their number by gum! And remember, these are literally the truth and apply in 100% of cases in which someone hates a type of post on social media.
Let’s explore this, shall we?
1. Nazis, Magas, Moscow Bots
The person who doesn’t like these posts…
- Does not want America to be great again
- Probably has a collection of pant suits
- Eats kale at least four times a week
- Hates the Electoral College and therefore, hates the principles America was founded upon and by extension clearly hates America.
2. Check-ins at the Gym
If this kind of post bothers you you are probably not into working out and are probably very weak in the muscle area. You probably get winded climbing the stairs, don’t you fatty? What? You even lift bro? You wanna say something? That’s what I thought. Alright bro, let’s get fucking SWOOOOOOOOL!
3. “Posts on social media”.
The person who claims they don’t like this kind of post is VERY funny and SUPER ironic. “I hate EVERYONE, hahahahahahahaha. Including MYSELF. Now here’s a pic of me at the gym.”
4. The Easily Googled Questions
Yes Google has an answer for everything, and since it does, the penalty for asking a googleable question on social media is death. What the FUCK gave you the idea that you could use social media to be social? You want conversation? Go do it someplace else, asshole. Social media isn’t the place.
a hilarious way to call your friends stupid and worthless
5. Repeat Meme Posters
Ugly Dad will grant that memes certainly lose their potency after a 2nd, 4th, or 18th viewing in a day, but you can’t really blame a particular poster for this you fucking narcissist (UD’s clinical diagnosis). Do you expect individual posters to check with you to make sure you haven’t seen the meme yet? Is that how social media works? I APOLOGIZE for not anticipating the fact that YOU may not have seen this post I just saw for the 1st time. What the hell was I thinking?
6. Boomer Posts
If you hate these posts you also hate Nam, Olive Garden, White Reeboks, my dad (who is DEAD, you asshole!), Jesus Christ son of God, grandkids, picnics, Wheel of Fortune, Medicare, supporting the troops, apple pie, and baseball! You’re a sad person and your sarcasm is ruining everything this great country is about! And did you congratulate your cousin on her new baby yet?!
Netflix is NOT a channel. Fucking dummy! HAHAHA. Olds, am I right?
7. Social media complaint posts on social media
So where is this person supposed to voice their opinions about social media? On the street corner wearing one of those sandwich billboard signs? People who have a problem with these kind of posts are authoritarians who like to tell other people what to. They are very likely the same kind of rule obsessed weirdo as BTK. These are the people who used to remind the teacher they didn’t assign any homework.
Dennis Rader was known for his strict “no complaining on social media” policy. Are YOU a killer too?
8. Sports Game Posts
If you don’t like posts about sports games you probably fall into one of two categories.
Fans who don’t want the game spoiled because they’re going to watch it later–hey everyone, make sure to stop living your life in the present because Bob over there had a wedding to go to and can’t watch the game until later. Bob should stay away from social media? Pfft, not in this life motherfucker. And if you’re friends with Bob’s wife you better like all the photos of the wedding cake or you can’t come to the next big sports game party!
Fans who don’t want to see any sports posts because they’re proud of the fact they don’t like sports— Good for you! Know what I don’t like? Your stupid face. I like even less the barrage of “This is me not caring about… Sound of Music” memes that are coming every time a major sporting event takes place. If there was a trophy for whining crybabies, you would be banned from competition by now because there’s no way you reached the level of crybaby you are today without some illegal performance enhancers.
These people like sports. The Fuck is YOUR problem?
Okay, I know we could spend all day on this subject but the truth is, our time is up. And your last check bounced. Perhaps we can continue when you’ve paid up in cash.
Today was painful, but that’s good. That was some really good work you did, people. I’m proud of you.
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